Ailments

by Wolves & Machines

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1.
03:19
2.
04:32
3.
04:14
4.
02:59
5.
04:35
6.
04:08
7.
03:44
8.
04:47
9.
03:59
10.
05:12
11.
04:23

credits

released September 28, 2010

tags

tags: rock Saginaw

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all rights reserved

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about

Wolves & Machines Saginaw, Michigan

Since Before Our Time 2014

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Track Name: Missteps
We were just children trying to find our own rhythm. But we were drowning in symptoms. We still needed to feel safe. Time found us thieving, time found us greedy. This place is misleading. I need a new chill on my bones. You were the oars, you led me to sea. But I was afraid you were leaving me. We could've made a bridge, instead we made a borderline. But I'm fine, I'm fine, I'll be fine. Wait, I thought the distance could medicate the missteps and mistakes that we had made. Now I'm lost. They told me to go for a year or three. The thought of it killed our monogamy, but I served that sentence well.
Track Name: Nomads
I sold my consciousness in favor of fevers, doubts, and restlessness. Left my vices to the shore. Though you may think me a man among men, the truth is I'm ruthless. You let the truth in and you'll see that I need to leave. We'll waste away safe on dry land reciting the vows we made. Leave those bodies to the shore. I fear we're wasting away. I'll cut all the strings. I won't sit hear and wait for a nomadic life until this place kills the nomad in me. The road I chose is that of least resistance. It takes me where I'm supposed to be. Comfort rose and made me an offer and pushed my boat back out to sea. Don't strip my progress away from me.
Track Name: Tides
We thought we'd built our walls on stone until we felt the tide pulling us under. The sirens say I'm coming home. They say I've been gone for way too long to still hear their siren song, but it's setting in. So now we'll raise our eyes and see the mistakes we made, the guilt in leaving. And all our family histories are a mess of discontentment manifested in our contention setting in. I'm scared to leave you all behind. If you're scared that I'm sailing toward a dead end or the picture frame feels threatened; if you're scared to let me catalyze my fate, know I've found the sound and I'm moving on, and on is away. Oh, there's hesitation here, but when I set those sails and breathe that salty air I'll know that I am coming home. Maybe the voice will shut up when I'm all alone.
Track Name: Trespasses
Maybe in three years you'll have found what you're longing for. A quiet home, a hand to hold, a medication for being alone. Maybe in three years I'll return to a brand new you, and you'll say "I never loved you, I lied when I told you. You're better off away." Unless the lungs in my chest can fill with air and disinfect I'll lie here all alone. But I've found a way from the tension. Away from the nightmares, away from the season. Away from it all. Oh Love I know all the dangers that may rise up. All the monsters and the rogue waves wait like demons to stalk and feed upon their prey. Forgive me all my trespasses, because I never loved you, I lied when I told you. You weren't the way I thought you'd be.
Track Name: Fevers
Woke to the voice again, crawling up through the floor and bouncing off of the ceiling. It tells me I'm coming home in a tone to console the regret that I'm feeling. Is it a ghost I see? Because the life it resembles bears uncanny to pieces of me. Are these my skeletons? I swear I buried you deep. I swear you're buried. We could have waited before we waded. We're draped in dripping fever coats. Now we're in currents. We're stuck in orbit feeling the pulling undertow. I know I've been cursed by these ailments since birth, but until now I had all my lines rehearsed. I could plead my own case against my need for a remedy. If I can't confide in you, there's no truth to be had. You helped me sleep at night, now I'm awake. It breaks my heart to see you jumping ship for another. We've lost our grace with words. We stayed afloat, constantly ailing. We lived in haste that we prescribed. And on the incline you kept me waiting. As if in passing, you let me slide. These are the waves that I wed. It's the ambition I fed. I'm waking to a symphony of my fevers and restlessness. Uncovered as savages, we'd fight for the last of the medicine. The weak ones, they'd watch the sky divorce the sun and pray they wake up to a brighter one. I'm sorry.
Track Name: Wages
Back home we were far from saints. Only our fears made us stay. The idle idols remained on the pedestals we made. Currents of currency flood our complacency. And I don't love anything the way these men love their greed, but I just can't leave. I'll come back for you someday to untangle the mess that I made. You'll say "This season has drained me." I'll lay down, rest my eyes, and finally sleep. The cadence keeps our wounded feet marching right in time into the sea. The nomadic life that we married keeps us restless and weary. The skeletons that we buried stay sustained by our worry. Back home we didn't fit in our own skin. We lived on minimum wages. We're here to find our own balance and make our children proud again. That place, it broke my throne and tried to draw praises from my lips to summon awe of its vastness before I sailed on the vastest. Never I minded the bridges, never I minded the sea. I held fast in the everlasting race by my own choice and thee.
Track Name: Discords
We had ideals, but we divorced them with the dream. We unstitched every seam to claim our independency. We tore our foundation down and let the water fill the room. You look at me with such disdain. The tone you speak keeps me awake. We lose our grace with words when defining the divorce. We bought our home and thought we burned it down ourselves. It was burning from the start, enough to tear the seams apart. I got caught and needed you to carry me suddenly. Before you left, you left a look with me. I'm literate to your subtleties. Maybe the friends we made are better. Maybe we're foolish just to wait. Maybe the places we sleep feel better. Maybe the distance can medicate. We've lost our grace with words. We're erasing and divorced.
Track Name: Ailments
Sans all the aches, sans all the allergies I think I've found what's ailing. Sans my routine insomnia I think I've found what's shaking me. If everyone I love would stop leaving me I wouldn't feel the greed in begging them to stay. It's like every move they make is just reminding me that there are many better men than me. Though the infection has spread, it's not disease that I regret. It's the ring. I feel it wasting away. I'm the sea's captive captain and the Stockholm's won't set in. Get me home. All I see is an empty place, an empty frame. In the depths of where I am with the cold and lack of oxygen these memories still kill me in a way drowning never could. Asleep I feel my skin begin the process of unraveling. I pray it's just the ailments, I pray I can shake myself and wake. I held out for a friend, not the phantom I found telling lies and keeping secrets from me. This season got bitter before it got better. It's the distance that keeps ailing me. It was the youth that we found; we were bound to it. It changed the words that I wanted to sing. Before we got restless and hung up on these vows, we lived our lives civil and sane. The youth that we found; we clung to it. It changed the way that I wanted to speak. But the love that's not leaving has already left. Sans my doubt, it's your joy ailing me.
Track Name: Harbors
Save our ship. We went on a mission expecting a cruise and got our egos bruised. Our fathers could warn us, but their scar stories bored us. Now we'll die alone. We tried to part the waves to make our way back home, but we're faced with storms and our ship can't hold on. We dreamed of harbors where these sirens cannot go. Is there a roadmap to lead me from exile to safety? Before I drown, I've got to write my story down. Before my body's found, I've got to sing these words aloud. We emptied cargo to make our burdens less to bear, but with waves intruding, our hope's retreating. My scattered mind thinks to a story I was told. "Cast me in! I'm the key! I'm the bridge to your families!"
Track Name: Rogues
Can someone find me a beacon or guide me to the coastline? Because I'm hearing my swan song growing louder. It beckons me. As I'm sinking, I hear her sing. At the bottom the voice rings back to me and tells me I've wasted my time. Have I wasted my time? In the dead of the night I heard the quiet voice speak. It sent a chill down my spine and made me weak in the knees. Every day it's gets louder as I go out to sea. I made these waters my home, they made an anchor out of me. I see the rogues rise higher and break in the distance, and all at once I hear the voice calling to me. I sailed on the seas until the storms rose and made me an offer: to calm the seas as I washed up on the beach. Unless the lungs in my chest can turn to gills in my neck, I'll lie here all alone. My decomposing has composed a haunting melody in prose. It keeps telling me I'm home.
Track Name: Anchors
Stay. I know there are anchors you need to sink, but my anchors? They stayed in your doorway. Reform the frame. I swear when you drifted out just to get away, I built and I walked the plank willingly. We don't drift the same. I raise my eyes and see it's hard to not miss everything. I drew up this plan, abandoned the land, let the sea show it's teeth to me. Love, I know there were anchors, but if they stayed in your doorway, could they ever sink in? Love, I know there were beacons that you could've shown me that I wouldn't let myself see. This union's grown crueler with time. You see me through scales on your eyes. But the places we sleep feel no better to me, and I've got all the friends that I need. Please find fonder feelings for me. Wait, I thought the distance could medicate the missteps and mistakes that we had made. Now I'm lost. They told me to go for a year or three. The thought of it killed our monogamy, but I served that sentence well. So I'll cast that ring into the sea. I'll take the ocean, my pride, as my bride to be as you drift away. Now I know I can't use these strangers or witnesses to replace all we've listed as damages. So sincerely I thank you. My confidante. My concubine. I made toxic the streams of our history before this love could ever take its root in me. Now the color fades.